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‘Thanks Mike.’ Morris said. ‘No problem.’ Mike said, as he went back down the bar, wiping the surface, and collecting tips. ‘What’s wrong?’ Morris asked me. ‘I don’t know. I guess I’ve been thinking about what you were talking about. I mean trying to live a good life, getting clean and off the drugs. I thought maybe I could do the same. I mean I’ve been clean and sober for a hundred and fifty-eight days now, but here I am. Sitting in a bar when I should be out there working.’ ‘You know we’re both alike.’ Morris said. I thought about it for a minute and then looked at him. ‘What do you mean?’ ‘Well, we both want what we think is unattainable. We both want to be clean, we both want to stay on the straight and narrow, we both want someone to love us, to somehow validate our lives. To us, we need that validation. We can’t just wake up and say, ‘I’m a good person. I deserve to live. I deserve to be happy’. We need something or someone to tell us this constantly, on a daily basis.’ . The kids had left the lights on downstairs, and I hadn't bothered to turn them off since the neighbour's lights were all on too -- there wasn't any prospect of privacy anyway. After really getting in to the massage the jets were giving me, I opened my eyes and was surprised to see all our lights off. Then my wife came out to join me. Even wearing her very conservative one-piece bathing suit, she wanted as little chance as possible to be seen - no surprise there.We chatted about our week and about the kids - the stuff old married people talk about. I noticed her foot floating nearby, so I started giving her a foot massage, as much as anything to give me something to do with my hands. I wasn't trying to start anything - after 20 years, I was far too realistic for that. I just tried to relax her and give her the best foot rub I could. After a while I'd rubbed all the kinks out of her feet, so I moved up to her calves. She was talking less and less, seeming to get into the moment,.
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